I had been eagerly awaiting The Northman since the first teaser was made public. I preordered my tickets for opening weekend, drove an hour to town, and arrived at the theater extra early for no reason other than excitement. Was The Northman worth all of the excitement and emotional investment? Yes. Is The Northman a great film? Yes.

Was I slightly disappointed by it? Also, yes. But before I explain why, let me explain why it is great, and why you should watch it tomorrow.

There simply isn't any other film like The Northman. It's part historic drama and part sword and sorcery... with a strong dose of gritty revenge thrown in. We've been fed many great films that capture the essential qualities of these genres, but there hasn't been a film that succeeds equally in each.

What makes The Northman an amazing historic drama? Because of the uncompromising accuracy of how northern Europeans lived (and suffered) in 930 A.D. The set designs, costumes, and weaponry are authentic. The mythology and spiritual practices of the characters are genuine. The grief and unpredictable turmoil of everyday life is accurate. We see graphic depictions of material conquest, white slavery, execution without trial, and wanton moonlit orgies.

There is absolutely nothing politically correct about The Northman. Almost every other historical film these days is tainted by some nonsense ideology that's irrelevant to the plot. Normally, the producers find some way to inject some nonsense female empowerment, political talking point, or what we now call "critical race theory". The fact that nobody in the film is "woke" makes The Northman an incredibly rare treat, especially considering the struggling film industry post-Covid. We're living during a time when the industry is especially reluctant to take risks and mitigate potential social backlash.

How can a movie rooted in this type of history be considered sword and sorcery? Isn't this really just "sword"? Where is the "sorcery"? Although Robert Eggers directs some of the supernatural scenes from a perspective that questions their validity, thus causing the audience to wonder if the characters' experiences are just a matter of psychological perspective, there are magical feats performed and objectively observed throughout the film. The protagonist's sword demonstrates sorcerous powers. The witches and priests in the film command wolves and ravens to perform unnatural tasks. Also, Odin makes a brief appearance.

Furthermore, the plot of the film is similar to many classic sword and sorcery tales. Our protagonist is wronged as a child. As he matures, his actions are often immoral. His ambitions are mostly selfish. He goes on a quest to right those wrongs. In the process, he encounters magical beings that hone his skills. The methods he deploys to exact his vengeance are portrayed with copious amounts of gore, making The Northman wonderfully violent. Yes, this is a sincere sword and sorcery film.

With all of this praise, why was I somewhat disappointed by The Northman? Because the film lacks the romantic qualities of epic heroism that I prefer. The protagonist's actions do not lead to any extraordinary outcome, and the film is ultimately a tragedy. To Eggers' credit, there wasn't much romance in 930 Iceland. Life was hard and everyone was probably generally miserable. Additionally, the sagas from which the film borrows also end in tragedy.

All this being true, it would have been possible to make some simple tweaks to the script that would have changed the film's direction and lead our hero to a more glorious finale. Instead, the writers positioned the protagonist to accept his fate without going one step further to exceed his own expectations. Allow me to explain my frustration another way. Mace's life in Fulci's Conquest was far superior to mine. I would love to be Conan from the Milius film. And, Deathstalker overcame adversity to live a prosperous life worthy of idolizing. There's no way in Hel I would ever want to trade places with Amleth from The Northman. Nor would I ever want to be any other member of the story. Even the slave-owning antagonist lives a life of desperation.

The Northman is a truly great film. I plan to pay for another viewing. But, because it doesn't take that extra step to portray life how it could (and should) be, I didn't leave the theater with a new perspective on existence. I appreciate this subject matter so much that I expect some sort of epiphone in the end. Instead, although I was entertained, I was grateful to return home to a predictable life made comfortable by air conditioning and lawn mowers.